One of my new year's resolutions was to drink more water and exercise more. The drinking more water part is easy, I actually like water so it was just a matter of reminding myself to always carry around water and drink it. Even now that I am writing this, I am at a cafe and I forgot to bring my own water so I got up to get one. In a day, I can easily drink 2 litres so yes, water was easy. The exercise part was the tough one.
I lack motivation. I am well aware of the advantages it has to the body but I always preferred reading a book or watching Netflix (as of lately). I found it more relaxing. And I absolutely hate the gym, I am too unfit to follow any of the fitness apps there are out there so I had to find something that would work for me, a starting point.
I always felt a bit jealous of people who loved running and were running frequently. I had this feeling that they got some sort of unparalleled freedom that was benefited for both their mind and soul. But I was always finding excuses for not starting running. Up until last year, it was work, I was working long office hours and then I was working from home. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely loved my job and now that I am looking back I could have definitely found some time to run but as I said, excuses. When I decided to stay home with my son, it was the excuse “no time to do anything but to catch up with my son for all the time we missed because of work”.
And then I had my two miscarriages in 3 months time right after my son had started school. I was lost in grief when my son was at school. About a week after New Year’s, I reached my lowest point mentally. So I had to do something. I remembered my New Year’s resolutions and I decided it was time to act on them.
I was pushing myself to get out of the house more, to go on walks, I live in a beautiful coastal city, in the Mediterranean sea, so I had lots of choices, lots of free time and zero excuses. I even remembered something I read somewhere about doing 10 000 steps a day. So I decided that would be my first goal. Much to my surprise, I achieved it from day 1 of trying! Me! I could not believe it! I even posted it on my Instagram stories, that’s how excited I was! And it made me feel amazing for myself.
The second day, I woke up excited to do my 10 000 steps. I was full of energy and ready to get fitter. It was raining though so I decided to go to the mall instead of the seashore. Instead of finding an excuse not to walk, I found a solution so that I could walk. This realisation made me feel proud of myself. To most people this might be nothing but for me, this is everything! It is my starting point.
Only 2 weeks have passed since that first day. And I already feel a change. I do not get tired after a long walk, instead I feel more energised and I breathe better (did not even know this was possible!) but more importantly, I feel better, I can handle my anxiety better and it helps with handling the grief and it assists my healing. There are still days that I find it hard to push myself to get out of the house and I still cry which is also ok, but I can handle it better.
In regards to actual running, I am not there yet. I am a bit embarrassed to try in public, I have bought running leggings though and I am looking to buy running shoes too and I hope this will give me the final push. But for now, the long seaside walks and breathing the salty air that comes with them are lifechanging for me. Even when I do not have enough time to go to long walks and cover my 10 000 steps, I walk inside the house before I go to bed until I do them.
Bottom line, this is what works for me now. And I am angry at myself for not starting earlier but I have started now and there is no stopping! I still watch Netflix, I still read book and I am exercising too! And here comes the old saying which always comes true: “When there is a will, there is a way!”.